A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a …case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife. ‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans’, he replies. ‘Put them back, it’s a waste of money’, demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of …face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the husband…
“It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’ replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it’s half the price….’
Announcement over loud speaker: HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7
“Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
His theory is that the car will be stolen.
As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered; ( I always call him “honey” in times like these.)
“I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.”
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
“Are you kiddin’ me?”he barked, “I dropped you off”!!!!!!!
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”