A Short Story

Post #95 – The Immutable Reminders Continual Assaults

My long absence

dance 4

Thursday, April 21st I woke up feeling great and looking forward to the solace of the upcoming weekend. Week days a group of medical staff attend to my needs which includes my participation. Always a painful process. Also, seemingly never-ending related phone calls overwhelm me. Disability is a thankless, full-time, unpaid job.

Blindsides – shake up our world. Unexpected, frightening, interruptive, and unwanted. Around 1 p.m., my body suddenly quaked with painful chills. I covered my face, my head, and myself with blankets. It just got worse.

After about an hour or of this, my temperature hit 101.9. In the middle of the afternoon? That was not a good sign for me or anyone for that matter. I hesitated. The last thing I wanted or needed was another hospital stay.

I had nineteen emergency surgeries since 2009 – and have spent over eight years out of the last twenty-four (since my diagnosis) in hospitals and nursing homes due the years of my captivity with sex traffickers from whom I contracted this paralyzing rare sexually transmitted virus that wreaks havoc.

So reluctantly I called my doctor and tried to convince him to give me a broad spectrum antibiotic and an order for a my nurse to draw a blood culture in my home.

It didn’t work, even though he was the doctor who has confined me to bed and knows that my over-all condition worsens when I go to the hospital. My compromised skin breaks down easily and I am on full bilateral hip, knee, and foot precautions because of my fragile bones.

Over the next two weeks, my doctor had to order five IV antibiotics to fight the drug-resistant infection invading my body –

Antibiotics #s 4 & 5

Antibiotics #s 4 & 5

which put my life – as I prefer it – on hold.

Weakness and lack of will left me staring at my laptop that sat on the over bed table in the hospital. My feeble attempts to type failed miserably.

Anyhow, I’m home now, gaining strength daily, back to writing and working on my websites.

questions in my mind 3

Last night I began to make a mental list of the things I cannot control and short-circuited. Then I made a mental note of the thing I have full control over – how I react to the things out of my control.

That’s the kicker, isn’t it?



8 replies »

    • lol Thank you! You are very perceptive. Without my self-deprecating humor (something I was fortunate to be born with), I would most likely have self-imploded by now. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I am so, so, so, sorry for this recent setback. Nineteen emergency surgeries since 2009 – and have spent over eight years out of the last twenty-four in hospitals and nursing homes. Wow. Nancy, my heart totally goes out to you. I can only empathize in one lonely remote way- spent 40 days in hosp. & 3 major surgeries in one week. But that you have had to suffer like this because of what was done to you. So anything else I say will sound trite. Wish I could just be there and hold your hand for 1 minute.


  2. Thank you John. Three major surgeries within a week? That’s a lot and so dangerous. I wish I could say one gets used to these things, but as I’m sure you know, that is not the case. But I count myself as blessed. It is through our sufferings that we grow. hold each other up, and identify and help others. I am grateful to count you as a friend who encourages me along life’s way and for the internet that brings us all together. Bless you John. Warmest appreciation, Nancy


  3. So sorry to hear about your setback – nice to see you back. You are right, when you say living with a debilitating illness is a full time job. Take care


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