My long absence
Thursday, April 21st I woke up feeling great and looking forward to the solace of the upcoming weekend. Week days a group of medical staff attend to my needs which includes my participation. Always a painful process. Also, seemingly never-ending related phone calls overwhelm me. Disability is a thankless, full-time, unpaid job.
Blindsides – shake up our world. Unexpected, frightening, interruptive, and unwanted. Around 1 p.m., my body suddenly quaked with painful chills. I covered my face, my head, and myself with blankets. It just got worse.
After about an hour or of this, my temperature hit 101.9. In the middle of the afternoon? That was not a good sign for me or anyone for that matter. I hesitated. The last thing I wanted or needed was another hospital stay.
I had nineteen emergency surgeries since 2009 – and have spent over eight years out of the last twenty-four (since my diagnosis) in hospitals and nursing homes due the years of my captivity with sex traffickers from whom I contracted this paralyzing rare sexually transmitted virus that wreaks havoc.
So reluctantly I called my doctor and tried to convince him to give me a broad spectrum antibiotic and an order for a my nurse to draw a blood culture in my home.
It didn’t work, even though he was the doctor who has confined me to bed and knows that my over-all condition worsens when I go to the hospital. My compromised skin breaks down easily and I am on full bilateral hip, knee, and foot precautions because of my fragile bones.
Over the next two weeks, my doctor had to order five IV antibiotics to fight the drug-resistant infection invading my body –
which put my life – as I prefer it – on hold.
Weakness and lack of will left me staring at my laptop that sat on the over bed table in the hospital. My feeble attempts to type failed miserably.
Anyhow, I’m home now, gaining strength daily, back to writing and working on my websites.
Last night I began to make a mental list of the things I cannot control and short-circuited. Then I made a mental note of the thing I have full control over – how I react to the things out of my control.
That’s the kicker, isn’t it?