Monday September 28, 2015

Photo from the movie Unbroken

I watched the movie Unbroken last night. This riveting true story of horrific torture, undeterred inner strength, and true forgiveness left me weak and speechless. It caused me to think of all those who have abused, molested, raped, and trafficked me.

When I saw Louie Zamperini, the Olympian POW tortured during World War II, return to Japan, and forgive his captors, it touched me so deeply that I found myself forgiving mine. I saw John, the burly teen who molested, raped, and took coins while holding me down so that boys could touch my panties for almost three years from the age of eleven. Then, the faces of the three upperclassman from my high school who gang raped me when I was fifteen flashed across my mind. After that, I watched as the sex traffickers, who captured and sold me for three years, torturing me. I was eighteen. Finally, I saw my alcoholic father and negligent mother and all the onlookers who could have protected me.

I wondered if what I had experienced last night was real. It is. Filled with unconditional love, I now pity my abusers. God has cleansed and freed me of my hatred for them. So surreal. Even though I suffered daily for the last forty-two years due to my captivity, my pain lessened today.

Perhaps forgiveness is the key. A new kind of healing has begun within me. I feel it. Maybe my nightmares will end also                    as Louie Zamperini’s did.