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Post #99 – Battling the Warzone of PTSD and Depression

tears with numb

It’s a never-ending daily assault. Sometimes I just shut down, hide under my covers, and play depressing songs for hours.

And I never know when it is going to hit. I was fine when I woke up, now I have fallen into a pit that I cannot climb out of. Just like that. It drives me crazy that I cannot overcome these bouts.

I have no one I can talk to – I never have. Too many trust issues. And, no one understands how traumatized I still am. Spending twenty-four hours in a bed – enough said.

It’s no one’s fault. I hide behind a smile; I am an expert at that. But, I fear one day I won’t be able to handle a blind side and try something stupid.

The only one I can share this with is my laptop and whoever reads this post.

I guess that’s it. My heart hurts. I feel empty and numb. And I don’t know why.

6 replies »

  1. Confined to bed restricts our ability to lose ourselves in busyness – we have only to face it, and hopefully, push through it. You are a brave woman, and I am awed by the Spirit you constantly display. Be well.

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    • Joy is what I feel inside even in the midst of battles. I believe it comes from an outside force that keeps me going. Nancy is my real name (which means Grace). I like that.

      Thank you for stopping by and for your interest in my life. I am looking forward to getting to know you also. The internet is a fabulous tool for meeting new people and making new friends. I am off to check out your blog. Nancy

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